and the Israeli-Palestinian's fight in Tel Aviv
and the Proposal cartoon video
enjoy
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Great YouTube Comedy & Satire
Watch the popular "Lahme Song" on YouTube:
Arab League announces new tournament and team called "The Heebs"
The Arab League, which was formed in 1945 to give Arab Women the right to play any sport, announced it would authorize a new franchise to allow direct competition with Israel and that would consist of Jews and be called "The Heebs."
The League, which has both never won a tournament in any competition nor signed on any female players, said that they hoped to change their losing streak by using the new team, "The Heebs" to negotiate franchise contracts with the Arabs.
"The Heebs will be a special team that will consist of honorary Arab sports players who are Jewish. I mean, after all, we are all Semitic peoples," explained League Secretary General Amr Moussa after announcing a new tournament initiative presented to Israel.
Formerly the Egyptian Foreign Minister who has headed the League since March 2001, Moussa added, "The idea is if we can't find anyone talented enough among our ranks to lead in the field of scholarly athletics, then we can allow honorary members, like Heebs and members of the Entity, to play on our behalf."
Moussa also said that the league was changing its slogan from "Driving the Jews into the sea" to something more achievable, like "increasing oil profits at the expense of our people."
"If we can't drive the Jews to the Sea, we are hoping to drive the sea to the Jews," Moussa said in unveiling this season's new strategy at the game opener in Cairo this week.
The Arab League has 22 teams including Algeria, Bahrain, Comoros, Djibouti, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Mauritania, Morocco, Oman, Palestine, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen.
The previous league secretaries Abdul-Razzaq Azzam (1945-52), Abdul-Khaleq Hassouna (1952-72), Mahmoud Riyadh (1972-79), Chedi Klibi (1979-90) and Dr Ahmad Esmat Abd al-Maguid (1991-2001) all had Arabian food dishes named after them to commemorate their consistent athletic records.
The League, which has both never won a tournament in any competition nor signed on any female players, said that they hoped to change their losing streak by using the new team, "The Heebs" to negotiate franchise contracts with the Arabs.
"The Heebs will be a special team that will consist of honorary Arab sports players who are Jewish. I mean, after all, we are all Semitic peoples," explained League Secretary General Amr Moussa after announcing a new tournament initiative presented to Israel.
Formerly the Egyptian Foreign Minister who has headed the League since March 2001, Moussa added, "The idea is if we can't find anyone talented enough among our ranks to lead in the field of scholarly athletics, then we can allow honorary members, like Heebs and members of the Entity, to play on our behalf."
Moussa also said that the league was changing its slogan from "Driving the Jews into the sea" to something more achievable, like "increasing oil profits at the expense of our people.""If we can't drive the Jews to the Sea, we are hoping to drive the sea to the Jews," Moussa said in unveiling this season's new strategy at the game opener in Cairo this week.
The Arab League has 22 teams including Algeria, Bahrain, Comoros, Djibouti, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Mauritania, Morocco, Oman, Palestine, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen.
The previous league secretaries Abdul-Razzaq Azzam (1945-52), Abdul-Khaleq Hassouna (1952-72), Mahmoud Riyadh (1972-79), Chedi Klibi (1979-90) and Dr Ahmad Esmat Abd al-Maguid (1991-2001) all had Arabian food dishes named after them to commemorate their consistent athletic records.
Edwards to claim he's father of Anna Nicole Smith baby
Trailing presidential candidate John Edwards is expected to announce this week that he is the biological father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, Dannielyne, although he said had he known about the infant, he would have told Anna to at least spell her name correctly instead of Southern White Trash style.
The announcement is viewed as another effort to boost his sagging campaign and generate cash. His campaign has risen sharply in the popularity polls after making two of his major foreign policy statements. The first, announcing he is more pro-Israel than most Israelis, helped inject his campaign warchest with $14 million in the first quarter. The decision to force his wife to disclose publicly her intimate private tragedies, that her cancer has returned, caused a 9-point bump in Edwards' popularity in the polls. Among single women voters.
Edwards posed with about 30 women, all directly or indirectly related to him at a health clinic where he offered to pay to have them all receive free health clinic checkups.
"I think it is important that all women identify potentially life-threatening illnesses early, especially any women who might be related to me. If we can identify these problems early, before the March primaries, we can address them quickly and successfully," Edwards said.
# # #
The announcement is viewed as another effort to boost his sagging campaign and generate cash. His campaign has risen sharply in the popularity polls after making two of his major foreign policy statements. The first, announcing he is more pro-Israel than most Israelis, helped inject his campaign warchest with $14 million in the first quarter. The decision to force his wife to disclose publicly her intimate private tragedies, that her cancer has returned, caused a 9-point bump in Edwards' popularity in the polls. Among single women voters.
Edwards posed with about 30 women, all directly or indirectly related to him at a health clinic where he offered to pay to have them all receive free health clinic checkups.
"I think it is important that all women identify potentially life-threatening illnesses early, especially any women who might be related to me. If we can identify these problems early, before the March primaries, we can address them quickly and successfully," Edwards said.
# # #
Monday, April 2, 2007
Tancredo vows to make "Nuke Mecca" his official campaign theme
Colorado Republican Congressman Tom Tancredo formally announced his candidacy Monday for the U.S. 2008 presidential race saying he would make "fighting illegal immigration" (meaning against those "Mohammedans") the focus of his campaign. But he vowed that his campaign would go even further in pandering to demagoguery than even Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck in demeaning Muslims. "I plan to make 'NUKE MECCA" my campaign slogan," Tancredo said. The 61-year-old lawmaker, who has won office to five consecutive terms by pandering to Poles in his Colorado home state (the Jewish ski-vote).
Last year, Tancredo shocked America when he vowed to Nuke Mecca but failed to follow through on his promise. Many rightwing Americans said they were outraged that someone would make such a bold promise and then fail to deliver. Tancredo, who admits he is controversial, said he was strategically building up anti-Muslim hate and saved the thrust of his anti-Muslim bashing for the official campaign."Why waste it? Why would I nuke Mecca last year when I wasn't even running for office?" Tancredo said. "Now's the time."
Tancredo blasted his likely Reppublican rivals, beginning with Mitt Romney, charging that he was probabaly a fan of the HBO series "Big Love." Tancredo said Romney is playing to both Republicans and Democrats. "Romney is a political polygamist. He'll marry more than one political party just to get ahead."
Tancredo brushed aside another Republican Rival New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, saying the former New York Mayor would be a polygamist if we didn't have a divorce court system in America. "I'll bitch-slap Giuliani in any head-to-head election contest. All he dide was refuse to take $10 million from a Saudi Prince."
Tancredo said controversy generates free publicity. Tancredo also once denounced Miami saying it resembled "a third world country."
"There are more Cuban Restaurants per square mile in Miami than there ever were on the Ricky Riccardo Show," Tancredo said.
# # #
ASK FATIMAH
Ask Fatimah: (Send us any questions to AhmedKareem1948@yahoo.com and we will force Fatimah to answer them. We don't oppress women. We only try to impress them with our male dominoes.)
Dear Fatimah:
I live in a small mental village of the mind in Pakistan but everyone thinks I am an Arab. I love carpets, if you know what I mean, sistah. But recently, I have fallen in love with a man named Allah Dershoshitz. He writes like a God and loves to bash Muslims and Arabs as much as I do those hywans! Anyway, how do I let A.D. know I want to marry him, and what do I say to my partner, the woman who heads the publishing house that publishes all my books between lap dances? Is there a secret to men I don't know?
Signed
Irshad Munchee
You Maniac:
I know what you mean about Dershoshitz. He is a publishing God, and publishes more books bashing Arab teazy than I get yeast infections from my husband, who, by the way, runs a liquor store in San Francisco's inner-city, Mahmoud Abdullah Hassen Yahya or, Mike, as he is known at Liquor industry conferences, Praise Be Upon Him (we can't drink alcohol but we can sell it to the infidels, again PBUH). Although sometimes he is also called "Big Booty" by the customers. Anyway, that's what he tells me.
I suggest that you get Dershoshitz's attention by saying something bad about Israel, rather than always shoving your nose up their tezzies all the time. I mean, I understand how you might waiver from your Lebanesian preferences given the shameless Red-Eye sucking you always offer to men. But Dershoshitz will immediately write a book denouncing you. You can then fall to his feet and beg for forgiveness. He'll then write and dedicate an entire book to you. From there, you're on your own.
Fatimah
Dear Fatimah:
I live in a small mental village of the mind in Pakistan but everyone thinks I am an Arab. I love carpets, if you know what I mean, sistah. But recently, I have fallen in love with a man named Allah Dershoshitz. He writes like a God and loves to bash Muslims and Arabs as much as I do those hywans! Anyway, how do I let A.D. know I want to marry him, and what do I say to my partner, the woman who heads the publishing house that publishes all my books between lap dances? Is there a secret to men I don't know?
Signed
Irshad Munchee
You Maniac:
I know what you mean about Dershoshitz. He is a publishing God, and publishes more books bashing Arab teazy than I get yeast infections from my husband, who, by the way, runs a liquor store in San Francisco's inner-city, Mahmoud Abdullah Hassen Yahya or, Mike, as he is known at Liquor industry conferences, Praise Be Upon Him (we can't drink alcohol but we can sell it to the infidels, again PBUH). Although sometimes he is also called "Big Booty" by the customers. Anyway, that's what he tells me.
I suggest that you get Dershoshitz's attention by saying something bad about Israel, rather than always shoving your nose up their tezzies all the time. I mean, I understand how you might waiver from your Lebanesian preferences given the shameless Red-Eye sucking you always offer to men. But Dershoshitz will immediately write a book denouncing you. You can then fall to his feet and beg for forgiveness. He'll then write and dedicate an entire book to you. From there, you're on your own.
Fatimah
Olmert makes sexual advances to Saudis
Experts in the field of diplomatic nuance said that Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's gesture to the Saudi Arabians in his message of piece was a sexual overture. Olmert was responding to the Arab League's offer to surrender everything and to stop referring to the Zionist Entity as the Zionist Entity in their useless political posturing and public outcries of hypocricies.
But while inviting the Arab leaders Sunday to meet to discuss the discussion of peace, Olmert also invited the King of Saudi Arabia, Ab-dull-ah Binabdelazziz to a whine and cheese squeezing party at his private condo in Berlin. Olmert was overheard telling his sexually harassed female aides, "I know that Condi beyitch is a hottie, but that Ab-dull-ah looks fine in that Channel Chador."
Later, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice issued the first-ever American reprimand of the Israeli government in the history of Israel, saying that while the United States is committed to extracting as much oil as possible from the Middle East and buying Jewish votes through the shameless patronizing of Israel's interests while ignoring the injustices and violations of civil rights against the Palestinian people -- (we have shortened the bureaucratic legaleeze here), she added, "Olmert said I was the only Nubian. He has broken his last unbroken promise to me that the check is in the mail."
Rice said that she often dresses in a Chador and swims at the Marion Barry Swimming Pool in Washington D.C., and prides herself in the fact that her full figure can show through the wet Chador just as if she were just wearing a t-shirt in a wet t-shirt contest.
"What does Ab-dull-ah have that I don't have?" Rice pilafed in her best Persian accent. "Hell. My nipples are as big as his nose! And what about Hillary. She squeezed Arafat's ass, once."
Immediately, Syrian President Bash-her Baby Face the son of Half-Ass al-Ass-it's-sad, denounced the one-sided dialogue saying that in reporting the news story, the Zionist controlled American news media always demeans and excludes the rights and justices of the "Arab beobles." Although Arab leaders can't pronounce the "P" sound, their comments sure smell like Pee.
"No one looks better in a red dress and tussle than I do," President Half-Ass said in his typical throat-clearing prununciation.
To make the point, President Half-Ass ordered his not-so-secret secret police to arrest three dozen Syrian falafel makers who looked Jewish -- since the country has no more Jews to persecute any more -- and place them in prison.
More to come, as Rice might pout-out!
# # #
But while inviting the Arab leaders Sunday to meet to discuss the discussion of peace, Olmert also invited the King of Saudi Arabia, Ab-dull-ah Binabdelazziz to a whine and cheese squeezing party at his private condo in Berlin. Olmert was overheard telling his sexually harassed female aides, "I know that Condi beyitch is a hottie, but that Ab-dull-ah looks fine in that Channel Chador."Later, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice issued the first-ever American reprimand of the Israeli government in the history of Israel, saying that while the United States is committed to extracting as much oil as possible from the Middle East and buying Jewish votes through the shameless patronizing of Israel's interests while ignoring the injustices and violations of civil rights against the Palestinian people -- (we have shortened the bureaucratic legaleeze here), she added, "Olmert said I was the only Nubian. He has broken his last unbroken promise to me that the check is in the mail."
Rice said that she often dresses in a Chador and swims at the Marion Barry Swimming Pool in Washington D.C., and prides herself in the fact that her full figure can show through the wet Chador just as if she were just wearing a t-shirt in a wet t-shirt contest.
"What does Ab-dull-ah have that I don't have?" Rice pilafed in her best Persian accent. "Hell. My nipples are as big as his nose! And what about Hillary. She squeezed Arafat's ass, once."
Immediately, Syrian President Bash-her Baby Face the son of Half-Ass al-Ass-it's-sad, denounced the one-sided dialogue saying that in reporting the news story, the Zionist controlled American news media always demeans and excludes the rights and justices of the "Arab beobles." Although Arab leaders can't pronounce the "P" sound, their comments sure smell like Pee.
"No one looks better in a red dress and tussle than I do," President Half-Ass said in his typical throat-clearing prununciation.
To make the point, President Half-Ass ordered his not-so-secret secret police to arrest three dozen Syrian falafel makers who looked Jewish -- since the country has no more Jews to persecute any more -- and place them in prison.
More to come, as Rice might pout-out!
# # #
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
