Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Arab League announces new tournament and team called "The Heebs"

The Arab League, which was formed in 1945 to give Arab Women the right to play any sport, announced it would authorize a new franchise to allow direct competition with Israel and that would consist of Jews and be called "The Heebs."

The League, which has both never won a tournament in any competition nor signed on any female players, said that they hoped to change their losing streak by using the new team, "The Heebs" to negotiate franchise contracts with the Arabs.

"The Heebs will be a special team that will consist of honorary Arab sports players who are Jewish. I mean, after all, we are all Semitic peoples," explained League Secretary General Amr Moussa after announcing a new tournament initiative presented to Israel.

Formerly the Egyptian Foreign Minister who has headed the League since March 2001, Moussa added, "The idea is if we can't find anyone talented enough among our ranks to lead in the field of scholarly athletics, then we can allow honorary members, like Heebs and members of the Entity, to play on our behalf."

Moussa also said that the league was changing its slogan from "Driving the Jews into the sea" to something more achievable, like "increasing oil profits at the expense of our people."

"If we can't drive the Jews to the Sea, we are hoping to drive the sea to the Jews," Moussa said in unveiling this season's new strategy at the game opener in Cairo this week.

The Arab League has 22 teams including Algeria, Bahrain, Comoros, Djibouti, Egypt, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Mauritania, Morocco, Oman, Palestine, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, Sudan, Syria, Tunisia, United Arab Emirates, and Yemen.

The previous league secretaries Abdul-Razzaq Azzam (1945-52), Abdul-Khaleq Hassouna (1952-72), Mahmoud Riyadh (1972-79), Chedi Klibi (1979-90) and Dr Ahmad Esmat Abd al-Maguid (1991-2001) all had Arabian food dishes named after them to commemorate their consistent athletic records.

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