Monday, April 30, 2007

Iranian President Ahmadinejad bans Western haircuts; makes cover of Mad Magazine

Iranian President Ahmadinejad declared Monday that all Western style haircuts will be banned and that Iranian men will be required to get only one haircut, the "Ahmadinejad Comeover."

The Iranian President's declaration banning Western syle haircuts including spikes, tapers, graphix, slants, slopes, angles, friz, Afros, green and purple dyed, and the "Britney Spears bald" look.

The Britney Spears Bald look, called "The Iranian Smoothie," was growing in popularity in Tehran among younger Iranians after the Western Rock Pop star went berserk and started flashing without undergarments. Her actions prompted many Iranians to observe, "Man, she is so crazeeeeeee, she must be I-ranian."

President Ahmadinejad even declared Britney Spears to be a "National Treasure," saying, "The corrupt and decadent Western culture forced Britney to do this. She is a National treasure. We love blond White women. They make the best second wives. It's all about rebound sex."

The Iranian Parliament, also called the Assylum in Farsi, endorsed Ahmadinejad's declaration, although there was a fierce debate on whether or not the official Iranian haircut should be Ahmedinejad's hair style of a closely cropped Donald Trump comeover, or the style preferred by the late Ayatollah Khomeini, but no one could find a picture of Khomeini's head without the Tarboush on it.

Mad Magazine, which distributes editions in Iran under a special Farsi name, "We're Crazy MudderF'ers," declared Ahmedinejad "Man-iac of the Year."

The Iranian Assylum also declared that anyone arrested and convicted of wearing an unauthorized haircut would have the haircut extended to the shoulders.

Of course, Offmyrocker MullahMullah, the spokesman for the Iranian Assylum, later clarified the new law saying, "Of course, we made a slight mistake. If you are arrested, you are convicted, so the language should read 'anyone arrested wearing an unauthorized haircut' will be headed."

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