The Justice Department is investigating how a pakage of terror tapes, videos and photographs sent by Virginia Tech killer Cho Seung-Hui to NBC TV ended up with the logos of the NBC station embedded in them.Republicans, who have been the target of NBC investigations, immediately accused the news station of being the "American version of al-Jazeera."
"Why would a terrorist send materials to a news station like NBC unless that news station was somehow involved?" asked Vice President Dick Cheney, who went into hiding minutes after Seung-Hui's attacks began. When told that the college administrators were being criticized for failing to send out text notices warning students about the first attack, Cheney responded, "Who said they didn't send out a notice. I got one."
Republican leaders, and rightwing Americans have blasted the Arabic language Arab World satellite news station because anti-American terrorist groups have sent al-Jazeera their own packages of photographs, videos and propaganda statements.
One news pundit was overheard asking, "Maybe the fact that a killer sends information to a news outlet has nothing to do with whether or not the station is sympathetic to the terrorists."
Cheney denounced the pundit as "anti-American," and the pundit was arrested by the FBI and accused of "terrorism conspiracy."
NBC News officials said they immediately -- within two hours of receiving them --- turned the Terror Package from Seung-Hui to the FBI; the photos and videos mysteriously made it to every major news outlet in Amnerica. And they said they were shocked to see that every photo rebroadcast on CBS, ABC and even the FOX Cable News Network had the NBC logos in the upper lefthand corners of the videos, photographs and notes sent by Seung-Hui.
Meanwhile, Wall Street reported that the print and broadcast news media organizations were reporting higher profits. "We haven't seen a rise in profits like this since, well, the oil industry last week when gas prices jumped 65 cents at the pump for no apparent reason," a Wall Street Analyst reported.
He added, "The mass murders came at an awkwardly convenient time for us." They pushe dup ratings and showed how important the mainstream media is to the American people. No one watches good news. If it bleeds it leads and nothing is leading more than the Virginian Tech murders."
He was immediately arrested by the FBI and charged with "terrorism conspiracy, too."
Even Democrats conceded the killings came at a bad time as President Bush was able to pretend again that he is a leader by offering prayers and other self-serving opportunities to pretend he's not a complete moron. The Senate Judiciary Committee postponed hearings on whether or not U.S. Attorney Alberto Gonzales did order the firing of key prosecutors who were not tougher on Democratic targets.
Asked about the massacres, Gonzales aides responded with one word, "Whew!"
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