Catholic University declares Jewish professor seeking tenure dead in Holocaust debate

Officials of DePaul University, an extension of the Catholic Church which turned its back on Jews during World War II and the Nazi regime and was complicit in the Holocaust, said it would not grant tenure to a Jewish professor, Norman Finklestein, because they questioned his "Jewishness."

"Is he a 'Jew' or is he just 'Jewish'?" asked a DePaul University official when Finklestein's application for tenure was submitted. "We are concerned that this Finklestein is not a real Jew and therefore has no place being promoted in an American institution. We subscribe to the policy that individuals who support Palestinian causes have no right to hold any jobs in America. This is a free country and we can do whatever we want. Who is this guy Finklestein anyway? I've never met him."

A man claiming to be Finklestein has written several books including one in which he argued that American Jews have used the Holocaust to beat the crap out of anyone who criticizes Israel. Quoting from Finklestein's book, "To Jew or not to Jew, that is the Question," Finklestein wrote, "This argument has been used many times in defense of criminal behavior and was in fact used in the O.J. Simpson trial as a defense, that Simpson said he killed Goldman because, he was a Jew."

Finklestein, who remains elusive appearing in disguise at pro-Palestinian choir practices, also wrote that the Holocaust did happen" angering Jewish leaders who said no speaker at a Palestinian event has the right to do anything in America.

DePaul officials released a letter dated June 7, 1967 in which Finklestein allegedly wrote, "I am in de Nile!"

Finkelstein controversy causes Arab panic:

The Al-AWDA movement, named after the Bedouin Sheik played by Anthony Quinn in the Historical Movie "Lawrence of Arabia," Auda abu Tayi, or "al-AWDA" as he was often called, issued a press release demanding the release of Finklestein.

But like all al-AWDA releases, it didn't get circulated past it's small circle of loud-mouthed activist members and was read by no one of any significance. Said al-AWDA, "The Jews did it!"

Other Arab American organizations also joined in the chorus of protest. The American Arab Discrimination Committee (AADC) issued a statement saying, "Ah! Israel did it." The Arab Institute of American Institutionalism (AIAI) issued a statement, stealing the thunder from the AADC statement, which read, "Ah huh!" As a result of the squabble, five new Arab American organizations seeking to protect victims of discrimination were formed and launched membership campaigns among the members of the other organizations.

At which point leaders of AADC and the AIAI began calling each other names, organizing meetings with the White House in the hopes of keeping the other group excluded, and sent out mailers denouncing each other, prompting al-AWDA to release another release that no one read, stating, "The World Zionist Conpsiracy is a major conspiracy behind all of the great conspiracies around the world. Down with the Shah. Down with oppression. The beoble united will never be defeated. Ho ho? Imus must go." They ended with their traditional trademarked slogan, "The Jews did it'!"

Angry that no one published any of their press releases, al-AWDA, the AADC Aand AIAI issued a joint statement declaring, "We believe Israel is behind the kidnapping of BBC reporter Alan Johnston, and if he has been killed, they did it." Upon which, all of the Arab organizations agreed to be friends again.

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