Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Iraq Invasion fake: Staged like Lunar Landing Muqtada al-Sadr says after Exorcism

Muqtada al-Sadr -- former speech writer for President Bush, the gumad of Karl Rove and ex-President of the Dick Cheney Fan and Rifle Club -- declared today that the American Invasion of Iraq symbolized by the toppling of the statue of Saddam Hussein in Baghdad was staged and fake "just like we all know the lunar landing was staged and faked, too, ya khiyyan."

Al-Sadr, better known to his followers as "The Mook," spoke to a small gathering of 750,000 Iraqis at a Tail Gaiting Party originally planned to celebrate the American game victory over the Axis of Evil Football League. Al-Sadr said in his best broken English, "We tired cheap Amreekiyyeen cigarettes. No Johnny Paycheck from Halliburton. Condoleezza Rice has breath like dead goat."

Confused Iraqi followers and survivors of the American led occupation cheered anyway.

The Mook raised his hands in the air and began an exorcism to "remove the American Evil from the axis" as wild-eyed whirling dervish followers spun around consumed in white tablets of ecstasy. His supporters raised the statue of Saddam Hussein and restored it to its original base in Baghdad. The tearing down of the Saddam statue by American soldiers 4 years ago and then re-edited on video to make it look like cheering Iraqis had pulled the Saddam Golden Goat down, was carefully cemented back in place.

The Mook then conducted an exorcism to expunge the American filth from the Iraqi homeland. "We weren't beheading anyone. We were just trying to recreate that famous scene from the movie The Exorcist," The Mook explained to his flaks who scribbled down his every broken word in sanskrit.

When the opening ceremonies ended, The Mook then officially opened the Shiite-Sunni-American Occupation pre-game tailgate party, using an American Flag to light the first of thousands of barbecues. A few of the vehicles exploded, and some celebrants charred the falafel, but The Mook later said, "Hakalaka. Hakalaka. Rivkah Hakalakah." No one in the audience understood what the hell The Mook was talking about, and they just continued in their celebrations.

The Mook then announced that Oliver Stone had signed a four-movie deal to explore the parallels between the staged lunar landing and the staged Saddam Hussein Statue toppling, to be called "The Parallax View II."

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