FOX News anchor threatened by Pakistanis with Fatwa

A storm of controversy has hit Pakistan as clerics there became confused when they thought they saw Pakistani Tourism Minister Ms. Nilofer Bakhtiar touching a man's rearend. But it turned out to be mistake involving confusion over the broadcast of the FOX News Network on Pakistan's "People's Channel."

But apparently, new satellite TV's supplied by Halliburton under the "free the Pakistani oppressed" campaign, had poor internal circuitry and the religious clerics were instead watching the FOX TV News Network, which most Pakistani Clerics said looked "uncanningly like the state run TV network."

In fact, what the clerics saw was gorgeous FOX News Anchor Rudi Bakhtiar, a very distant relative of the Pakistani Tourism Minister, who did place her hands on FOX News loudmouth Sean Hannity's face, which looks like a cellulite-racked Ass. In fact, Hannity is often called a "big Ass" so the confusion lingered for days.

In fact, The Tourism Minister Bakhtiar did place her hand on a man who participated in a parachute jump organized by an aid group in France that helps victims of the earthquakes that devastated parts of her country in 2005 and was immediately denounced by a group of Pakistani clerics. Observers quickly pointed out that the FOX News would never raise money for people in need, let alone the French.

The New York Slimes added to the confusin when it reported, "After the photograph of Ms. Bakhtiar was published, incensed radical clerics and some other conservative Pakistanis latched onto the opportunity not only to criticize her but also to attack General Musharraf for what he calls his approach of 'enlightened moderation.' The pictures, in their view, violated acceptable moral norms in this Muslim country."

Meanwhile, the "Council of Islamic Clerics and Cross-Dressers" announced they were also recommeding that a Pakistani man accused of murdering a prostitute (whom he admitted he slept with) should be honored with special merit. The man, Shanty "The Pak" Paddywaddy, of Islamabad, said the prostitute cheated him out of 15 rubles. He was immediately invited to be the keynote speaker at a fundraiser organized by the Pakistani Secret Police, (who are unofficially referred to as "al-Qaeda" and serve as the bodyguards to Pakistani President Pervert Musharref) to raise Halliburton embezzled monies to build a retirement home for suicide bombers.

Paddywaddy had been convicted two years earlier of murdering his two daughters, whom he slept with and later accused them of sexual impropriety in violation of Shari'a Laws. He had spent five months watching Baywatch Reruns on the Lebanese Satellite Channel LBC under provisions of the Big Boob Fatwa, which is also popular in Jordan and parts of Egypt.

# # #