ASK FATIMAH: Does the Quran order Men to beat Women?

Dear Fatimah:

Thank ALLAH (PBUH) that you are here to answer our questions. My husband is a devout Muslim and he has never beaten me. But his friend, also a devout Muslim, does beat his wife and wonders why my husband does not beat me. I have read the Qu'ran many times and it does use the word "daraba" to allude to the treatment of women. But someone told me that it does not mean "to beat" as many intepret it. Is this just spin or am I in for a beating soon? Help.

Dalilah

Dear Dalilah:

You have hit hard on an important topic that I have not beaten upon enough in the past.

The word "daraba" means "to beat" in modernday Arabic and in classical Arabic. But in the times of the Prophet Muhammed (PBUH), the word was mainly used as a slang for fornication. Or to screw. To "Daraba" meant to have sex with your wife.

Here is a link to one explanation upon which I base my response, because it is, subhan wa Allah, (PBUH), the truth:

http://islamtomorrow.com/women/treatment.asp

Now, the modernday example of this play on words is the American slang expression "to bang." When you "bang" a woman, you are not beating her. You are fornicating with her. Not you specifically, because that wouldmake you a Lesbian, and you therefore fall under the authority of Hezbollah which controls all Arab Lesbians, and therefore you can be beaten. However, back to the question. "Daraba" in Arabic is much like "to bang" in English. In the Qu'ran, "Daraba" directs Muslim men to sleep with their wives when their wives pwermit it.

To be honest, the first part about whtehr men should beat their wives or sleep with their wives is not the issue, but rather the real concern is the second part, "when their wives permit it." How often do Muslim men actually ask permission of a wife before having sex? With her? Or with one of his grocery store female employees?

By the way, you cannot "daraba" a Muslim women in the sense of a beating, but you can "daraba" a non-Muslim woman.

Fatimah.